


An Unfinished Manuscript

by Wasuremono



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: F/F, Metafiction, Underage Makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wasuremono/pseuds/Wasuremono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ice King's attempts at fanfiction don't always turn out as intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unfinished Manuscript

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rachael Sabotini (wickedwords)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedwords/gifts).



_It's a quiet day when the artistic whim takes Ice King again, and it surprises him. Usually he only wants to write when he's frustrated, to blow off steam from a failed kidnapping in a way that doesn't involve kicking the penguins; it's not an urge he's used to when things are more peaceful. Maybe that means it's important this time, he thinks. Maybe this means he_ has _to._

 _As soon as he pulls out the fresh notebook and pen, the words start flowing. It's a little scary at first, and then it starts to feel good..._   


* * *

  


**FIONNA AND THE MYSTERIOUS PRINCE**  
a fanfiction story by I.K.

It was lunchtime, and Fionna was seriously bored. Cake was out of town at a magical-animal convention, and Marshall Lee was off doing vampire stuff, so she was left with nobody to hang out with. (She thought about going over to see Prince Gumball, but it hadn't been that long since the weird thing with Ice Queen and the Gumball Ball, and yeah, that still felt really weird.) She was just starting to realize how much it sucked to be lonely when she heard a knock at the door.

Outside was someone Fionna didn't recognize -- a blue-skinned prince! He wasn't quite as much of a babe as Ice King himself, but he was still a pretty serious babe, and Fionna let him in. "Hi," he said. "I'm Prince Coldsnap of the Frigid Kingdom. I'm visiting the Land of Aaa, and I heard you were a great heroine! Can you help me?"

"Sure, I can help you out," said Fionna, trying not to sound too excited even though the prince really was a total babe. Where was the Frigid Kingdom, anyway? "What's goin' on?"

"It's terrible! Everyone in Aaa seems to think I'm a relative of your Ice Queen or something, and it's all just a weird coincidence! I sent for my royal polar-bear chariot to take me home, but I need somewhere safe to stay until it gets here, so people don't freak out at me. Can I... can I hang out with you?"

"Heck yes you can hang out with me!" Fionna stammered. "Do you like video games and stuff? We can play video games on Beemo. We can make some snacks..."

"That sounds really neat, Fionna. Can I call you Fionna?"

"Sure!"

Fionna went to pop some popcorn, and when she got back, she had Beemo start up Adventure Masters for them to play. Prince Coldsnap was pretty good at it! He wasn't as good at it as Fionna, but he was good enough that she was pretty sure he wasn't letting her win, and that was pretty nice. Halfway through the third game, though, there was another knock at the door and she had to pause it. When she opened the door, Prince Gumball was there, to her bad surprise. "Dude," she said, "what are you doing here? I don't want to talk about that heart-guts stuff."

"Fionna," said Prince Gumball, "I have to talk to you. I can see you've got that prince in there, but you need to know, he's --"

"He's Prince Coldsnap and he's a nice guy, okay?!"

"But he's actually --"

"He told me this is all a weird coincidence, and right now I trust him more than I trust you!"

"But, uh, Fionna, that heart-guts stuff wasn't even me --"

"Look, just leave us alone, okay?" Fionna slammed the door and headed back to the couch. "You weren't kidding. Even Prince Gumball wanted to give you trouble, and he's... well, uh, he's... I mean, usually he's a pretty nice guy."

"What's wrong?" Prince Coldsnap put down his Beemo controller and looked into Fionna's eyes, where she could see his feelings. "Did he hurt you?"

"It's complicated, but yeah, kinda..."

"I'm so sorry. I know we barely know each other, Fionna, but I can see what a nice girl you are, and you deserve a nice boy." Prince Coldsnap smiled at her, then stretched out his arms so that his arm was draped over her shoulder! That was such a good move, thought Fionna, and she moved closer. Up close, Prince Coldsnap was a little cold, but she didn't mind. He moved his head closer to her head, and soon he put his lips onto hers. Fionna totally got into it when she felt his lips, and she stuck her tongue in his mouth and did that thing where she smashed her tongue on his and then kind of licked his teeth. He did the same thing, and it was so hot even though it was actually pretty cold! Soon they were seriously making out, all doing even crazier tongue things, and it was so great.

After they'd done enough making out, Fionna and Prince Coldsnap pulled away from each other. "That was so great," said Prince Coldsnap. "Fionna, I --" He stopped as he suddenly started glowing! It was a little freaky. "Oh, no!" he cried from within the glow, and his voice seemed a little higher. When the glowing finally stopped, sitting on Fionna's couch was... Ice Queen?!

Fionna stood up and drew her sword. "Whoa! What did you do with Prince Coldsnap?!"

Ice Queen looked down at the floor, and she seemed as sad as Fionna had ever seen her, which was pretty sad. "Fionna," she said, "I _was_ Prince Coldsnap. I -- I ran into the Magic Lady while I was out for a walk, and she turned me into a dude to teach me a lesson. I was hoping I could practice some game, but Prince Gumball saw right through me and chased me off, so I decided to hide here until it wore off. And it just did."

"That is totally freaky," replied Fionna. "Like, okay, magic-lady curse, but why did you make out with me?"

"Because that was the first time anyone's done anything nice for me, ever!" said Ice Queen. "Anyone who wasn't a penguin, anyway. It really moved me that you let me hang out with you in the first place, but then you stood up for me, and I really wanted to pay you back. Hot makeouts were just the first thing that came to mind. Besides... I don't think it's a coincidence that the spell broke just then."

"Wait, what? You mean... you learned the lesson or whatever?"

"I learned the lesson that companionship is where you find it. Maybe I've tried so hard to get some hot prince action that I wasn't really looking for someone who'd actually be nice to me."

Fionna thought about it for a second, and it kind of made sense. It had sucked to be lonely even for the short time she was, but Ice Queen was a lot _more_ lonely, so maybe she'd learned how not to be? And Ice Queen was nicer than she'd expected, too. And those makeouts had been really hot.

"I think I see what you're getting at," said Fionna. "And I... yeah." She set her sword down and sat down on the couch again. Slowly, she began to move towards Ice Queen. Fionna licked her lips, which were still a little cold. "Hey, why don't we  


* * *

  
 _Wait a second._

 _Ice King pauses from his frenzied writing and rereads the last paragraph. Was he really going to suggest that Fionna make out with Ice Queen not in hot-prince form? It was okay to write about it when she was a hot prince, but what did it mean when she wasn't? What did that mean, that he wanted to write it?_

 _He stares at the paper for a moment, completely uncertain how to continue, and eventually settles for throwing the notebook in his desk drawer. Writing fanfiction is a fickle mistress. Sometimes... well, sometimes things take on a mind of their own, and he's not sure he likes that. What Ice King wants more than anything is something in his life that just_ works, _that manages to make him happy for more than seconds at a time, and now even the written word has betrayed him. Is it too much to ask that something in this world doesn't make him feel weird inside?_

 _Maybe he should go try a princess-kidnapping instead. One of these days, that's bound to work, and even when it doesn't, it's at least a predictable form of disappointment._

**Author's Note:**

> In an appropriately meta twist, this fic didn't turn out like _I_ intended, but I hope it works for the strange thing it is.
> 
> I debated long and hard about whether this qualified for the Misses Clause Challenge, but I decided that anything in which the female characters are in-universe fictional characters being written by a man just didn't quite fit the spirit of the challenge. If an MCC mod is reading this, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.


End file.
